The Elf on the Shelf Privacy Policy

AcaGuy
5 min readDec 24, 2019

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The Elf on the Shelf™ is a product of CCA & B, LLC and it is important to us that you know that you are always in control of your privacy. We want to make sure you know that even though you have an Elf watching your every action and reporting it to a jolly man in a red suit who spends his career judging children for their misdeeds, that doesn’t mean that we do not value your privacy. The core values of our policy are: Privacy, Control, and Openness.

By welcoming an The Elf on the Shelf™ into your home you agree to the following guidelines:

1. What Data Elf on theShelf™ Collects:
When Elf on theShelf™ joins your family, you grant permission to collect a variety of information including real time transmission of all actions and behaviors in your home in a variety of formats (descriptions, summaries, audio, and video). Further, as new technologies develop you grant us permission to deploy them within your Elf on theShelf™ without notice if they within the boundaries of this policy.

In the process of collecting the above data, Elf on theShelf™ may gather derivative data including names, email addresses, IP addresses, UDID, credit card information, financial data, social network usernames and passwords, behavioral history, psychometric profiles, and any third-party data present on any devices within thirty miles of your Elf on the Shelf™ at any time. Data is the ultimate gift; as such, any visitor within thirty miles of your Elf on the Shelf™ is bound by this agreement — what a gift you have given them. Further, we may collect additional information in the event that we believe it is essential, necessary, or tangential to the function of Elf on the Shelf™.

Elf on the Shelf™ is not governed by COPPA, GDPR, or other national or international data privacy laws. Santa cares about you and has your best interests at heart — by using Elf on the Shelf™ you agree to trust Santa and any and all of his representatives.

In the event that any applicable parent or guardian interferes with the operation of the Elf on theShelf™, forgets to move the Elf on the Shelf™, and fails to aid the Elf on the Shelf’s™ elaborate shenanigans, that parent or guardian consents to detailed behavioral information (spending habits, private schedule, internet browsing history, etc.) being harvested and shared with outside parties — including, but not limited to, their spouse or partner, employer, social media networks, and/or law enforcement officers.

2. Why Elf on the Shelf™ Collects This Data:
Any and all data collected by of Elf on the Shelf™ serves the express purpose of helping Santa assess those on his list. “The magical Scout Elves help Santa manage his nice list by taking note of a family’s Christmas adventures and reporting back to Santa at the North Pole nightly.” All data and information are used to further this purpose. Additionally, any and all data collected by of Elf on the Shelf™ may be used to target all applicable users with advertisements, marketing materials, and products. Data may be used to help process and expedite orders, complete transactions, or to help suggest products which may enhance a user’s collection of Elf on the Shelf™ and/or affiliate products.

3. Data Control & Access:
Any and all data collected by of Elf on the Shelf™ is collected, transmitted, and retained securely. Access to all data is restricted to Elf on the Shelf™ employees and may only be used for the express purposes of maintaining Santa’s list or other purposes as outlined in this policy. We may add additional uses for user information and data at any time without the express consent of the user. Generally, data is only available to elves, Santa, and employees of CCA & B, LLC. To help maintain the magic of Christmas any and all data collected by Elf on the Shelf™ may be used for a variety of purposes including, but not limited to, training of new elves and employees, advertisements, market research, or any other use deemed beneficial to CCA & B, LLC or other relevant stakeholders.

4. Third-Part Data Sharing:
We want to reiterate that sharing is key to the Christmas spirit. ’Tis the season for giving — Any and all data collected by Elf on the Shelf™ may be shared with third-party partners under a limited set of circumstances. Data may be shared with preferred affiliates of Santa. Data may be shared with service providers, ad vendors, consumer data aggregators, social network providers, corporate affiliates, other Elf on the Shelf™ users, social networks, or other partners we determine to be essential, necessary, or tangential by CCA & B, LLC. In some instances, Santa or his agents, may share user data and information with parents, teachers, law enforcement, or government agencies when it is determined that it is in the best interests of any employee, agent, or affiliate of CCA & B, LLC.

5. User Rights & Control:
We want to make sure that you feel in control of how your data is collected, used, and retained. To help maximize your rights, by using Elf on the Shelf™ you agree that any and all disputes under this policy will be resolved via mandatory binding arbitration. In the case of any such dispute, a neutral arbiter will be chosen by CCA & B, LLC or their legal representation to resolve these issues. To ensure the protection of users, all other means of resolution are forbidden including lawsuits.

At any time, you may request the modification of your information by writing to our corporate office. You will receive confirmation of your request within forty-eight Christmas Days. Any and all user data will be retained for a period of no less than seven centuries. You may request that all data be erased by submitting a written request. Any such request will not be processed.

This policy is binding for the duration of your use of the Elf on the Shelf™. If you wish to break this agreement you may do so by decapitating your Elf and mailing their head to our offices at 3350 Riverwood Parkway SE, Ste 300 Atlanta, GA 30339 and then mailing the remaining body parts to Santa Claus 325 S. Santa Claus Lane North Pole, Alaska 99705. Once all parts have been received Elf on the Shelf™ will cease collecting data and information from your home. However, all existing data will be stored and remains bound by the above policy.

**In case you cannot tell this is satire***

Learn more on why the Elf on the Shelf is problematic.

You should check out Santa’s privacy policy here.

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AcaGuy
AcaGuy

Written by AcaGuy

Associate Professor in Communication Studies. Rhetorical Critic.